I know that it might “sound” obvious that you are in a bad relationship if you are asking yourself this question, but often when all we have seen, hear, and are taught is that “this is the way things are, the way things have always been, the things will always be” through personal experience, through the words of others and culture itself, it is almost impossible to KNOW that we are right. That we KNOW this is not a good relationship for us.
I would say, teach yourself what a good relationship is, and not accommodate a bad one. Please listen to this video. The person who put it together did a GREAT job:
Listen to it MANY, MANY TIMES. Maybe download the MP3 of it, and put it on your mp3 player with headsets and listen to it over and over throughout the day and night. Suddenly, what is true will shift from “relationships are hard work”, “arguments are normal”… and all the other low vibrational BS (belief systems hehe) programs that are forced down our throat to keep us down.
Often, when all we have known are abusive relationships, we put up with the vampirism, and violence which verbal attacks really are (they damage the emotional and other subtle bodies), so that we may have physical contact, intimate moments, someone home when we arrive in the evening.
You might think, “but I love him/her so much”, and you are right! You do love him/her. Because for you loving is easy. It is your core self, it is who you are. And… you will love again. And again. And again. Because you are here to love the entire world, life, your life, the planet, people, animals, Gaia…
There is nothing inside of you that you need to fix. This is not a “lesson”. You are pure love incarnate, you are light, beautiful and a gift to the planet. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. Jumping to the void and seeing what happens. What is the jump? Express and be joylightlove at all times, walk away when vibrations or threats are made, don’t engage. When you are sucked into the drama, count to ten, take a few deep breaths, take a knee.
One of the exercises I will often suggest to individuals who are either in bad relationships, realise they need to leave a relationship, or are desperately seeking a good relationship (or any relationship), is to make a commitment to stay single and celibate for 10 years. Yup, you read right. 10 Years.
Once you step into the peace that that commitment brings, all sorts of things start transforming in your life. It has to be a real commitment, one of freedom and one of focusing our attention, life and activities away from sexual/partner relationships. 10 years is not very long at all.
This is about the NOW. During those 10 years many things might happen. You might find that physical warmth of another person is overrated, you might find that being alone is better than being in bad company. You may also find that because you are not looking or seeking, the programs that default you into a bad relationship are not active, and you get to see a person or people who are super amazing and EASY to be with.
What is a good relationship?
– It requires NO work.
– It is easy.
– It is supportive.
– It is exciting and enthusiastic.
– You wake up in the morning and instantly smile because you know that whatever you both get up to that day, is going to be absolutely wonderful.
– Whenever one of you has a hard time, the other will support and won’t become an emotional punchbag.
As you release this man or woman from your knowing of what is good and what is bad, he or she can go off and have a relationship that truly fulfils them. That fulfils the games and energies he or she came here to have. And you release yourself to first of all become complete in yourself, then if you and your higher self chooses, you get to have a relationship that is real and at your vibrational level.
Remember that many light beings are targeted by vampiric individuals to keep them down, and suck the life out of them. That mostly distract and keep the light being from doing the real work here – shine as bright as they truly are, express their light and beauty unencumbered.